I'm at a crossroads once more. We haven't filmed anything new, although the very last movie we did will be coming out in August (if I remember correctly). Which reminds me, I must ask our distributor to drop the price on all our videos and have a huge, blowout sale; including the new one!

I could tell you that we haven't filmed because I've been busy. Which is certainly true. School, writing, etc. But the truth is that I feel like I'm losing hope. Hell, who am I kidding? I've lost hope. Sales have been dismal and my experience with filming content for someone else, this past January, just wasn't what I expected. Aside from the sessions where the model couldn't come, the tapes I mailed to Mature Gay DVDs were erased somehow. No content whatsoever. Just blue screen. Thank goodness for external back-ups! If you don't have one, get one. The man behind the operation was absolutely wonderful throughout the entire time. Still, the experience left me with a very bad taste in my mouth. I don't like to be seen as incompetent or inefficient.

And since I'm the kind of person that sees everything as a "sign" I chose to give that part of the porn business up. Which made me wonder about Horndawgz. Do we keep it going? Do we disband? Do we sell it off? Are there even any sellers out there? In this economy, I highly doubt it.

The bad thing about being in this mental state is that I start seeing things differently and new questions arise. You see, somewhere along the way, something shifted for me. Perhaps I started looking at Horndawgz as a profit-making business rather than something fun to do? Something that was once enjoyable. Perhaps I grew too big in my own head and saw myself as the Hugh Hefner of amateur manboys, flanked by a bevy of adorable nerds and average Joes? Or is that having to rely on something to bring you money brings a different form of stress and pressure? I know I'm supposed to learn something here but I'm not sure what it is. Forget about money and just have fun with what you're doing? Could it really be that simple?

I can certainly say that a lot of what I had been doing wasn't fun anymore. It's a lot of work! I mean a LOT of fucking work. First there is advertising. Then you reply to the prospective models. Then you meet with them. Most times it's fun. You do meet real cute and nice guys who are so down to earth and so genuine you want to adopt them for your very own; like David and Nelson and a few others whose names I can't remember at the moment.

Sometimes you have to let a prospect know that, under no uncertain terms, you cannot pay them the $1,000 or even $2,000 session they think they deserve. Hell, being as small as we are and surprised at what we did pay! And even that wasn't enough for all their professionalism and spot-on timing and attitude.

Then you have to weed out the ones that say: I won't do this, I won't do that. You might have to pump up the insecure ones, the ones that think they don't have what it takes to be in front of the camera and cannot see the potential that YOU see. Or you may have to become Miss Cleo and go with your hunch at those that are too afraid and might cause problems in the future; and other, odd, weird vibrations.

Then comes time for scheduling a film date. And you film. Here again, like everything mentioned previously, not a lot in and of itself but you're already looking at one week to two weeks worth of time spent. And you haven't even downloaded content yet!

Which leads me to post-production. Editing. One of the most boring things I have ever had to do. But here's the weird thing. I actually LIKE editing someone else's work. Mine? Fuck it. I could care less. I just wanna hawk up a big loogie, spit on the content and pray it holds itself together that way or that all transitions, cuts, bad light moments and silly technical flaws will somehow magically work themselves out.

Then you package it all up, following a very extensive list of "dos" and "donts" (which you need to do or the FBI will come knocking on your door; and no one wants that!) and you cross your fingers. You're looking at a month, on average, from start to finish. But it's not over yet. While you're starting on your next release (if you're truly lucky, you may have a second pairing and can at least use one of the guys you just filmed) you are now blogging about the movie and promoting it because exposure is exposure and exposure is what sells.

So, once again, I'm at a crossroads. I'm reminded of a line from a song but I can't remember who sang it or what the name of the song was: Do I stay or do I go?

        

I am stunned by how A Dawg & His Master is doing. It currently ranks at number 3, after our P.O.V. movies -- Dawg Day Afternoon and Dawg Day Afternoon 2. Not bad considering A Dawg & His Master was a spur of the moment thing and it's not much as far as piss videos go. No story. Not much on action. But it's 30 minutes of dick-sucking, piss guzzling and gargling in one of the seediest places we've ever been to. And a really hot cum shot.

A Dawg & His Master only received a 3.3 out of 5 from Piss Pigs but it's gotten us to wonder. Perhaps another piss video might be in order? We even received a compliment from Andrew about pissboy! I guess it's always what you never expect that seems to do better than you anticipate. You can check out the review here. If you'd like to view the movie, you can visit the Horndawgz Theatre.

        

I'm always stunned when so much time slips in between postings. And yet, I don't know why I should be. Perhaps because I feel as if everyone else's life marches on around me while I'm at school. I read other bloggers, like Black Boy Addictionz and I wonder: why exactly did I return back to school again? I have very little time for a social life these days let alone blogging about porn or anything even remotely related to Horndawgz.

Since starting school this past January, time doesn't belong to me anymore. I'm just hanging on to the bull and praying I don't fall off. It's frighteningly like how I felt nearly 30 years ago. I was 19, had no social life and no sex life. Nothing but work, school and sleep. And tons of reading, studying, tests and homework. It's no wonder college students seem to drink all the time! They have to find a way to unwind and relax. I hate to admit it but I might have taken on a bit more than I could chew.

But it's all good. I have to keep reminding myself; just four more weeks. Then I'll be done with the semester. And the best part of all? I'll have only one more class before getting my A.A. That one will be online so I won't have to worry about commuting. Though I will miss all the cute boys. Ahhhh, squirrels! Going to school definitely has some very poignant pros and cons for sure.

It'll be good to get back to filming porn, though. I miss being behind the camera and interacting with prospective models.

I miss my regular writing as well as the blog updates. Yes. It will definitely be good to get back to the things I enjoy doing. Not that I don't enjoy school. I actually love it! Being on campus and seeing all the hot, young guys being so damn cute in their discomfort of growing up and trying to fit in somewhere is very exciting. It warms the blood and gives me the surge of energy to keep going. It's just all consuming.

        

Here I am, Friday morning, 15 minutes away from a 9:30 interview that I believe will be a no-show. Just a sneaky suspicion is all. If he shows, I'll be very surprised. But that's okay. I have another one coming at 10:30. A cute, hairy Middle Eastern boy with luscious red lips. Damn. Middle Eastern boy just called and said he can't make it; called in to work. Sigh. At least, after a year, I don't take it as personally as I once did. And at least he called. 9:30 boy has not confirmed.

Well, while I wait for the 9:30 that I think won't show, I thought I'd blog about the latest scene we edited. It's a watersports piece called "A Dawg & His Master." We filmed it last year, a few months after I was laid-off. It's been put on the back burner many times, for various reasons. But now, it's finally finished. Because of the laws governing porn, the scene will only be made available through our Horndawgz theatre. That is, once AEBN does the magic it needs to do.

It's down and dirty. No premise. Just PissMasterFLL and his pissboy. It was filmed in a derelict building, in an apartment that was positively filthy! Somehow it added to the ambiance, though. There were holes in the wall, moldy walls, dirt on the floor, busted glass and even dead bugs all over the place. I don't think pissboy wore his contacts. If he had, he may have thought twice about doing this piss scene where we did. But then again, maybe he's just that into the scene that it didn't matter to him.

Below are some pics from the scene. Something tells me he enjoys drinking straight from the tap! My favorite is the bigger pic of the three.



The trailer for "A Dawg & His Master" appears below. Again, please remember that the scene will only be available through our Horndawgz theatre. However, that won't be for another few weeks yet so be sure to check back! Note that we are having some difficulty with the way certain images are appearing on the page. We hope to have that remedied shortly.

        

Yesterday, I embarked on a brand new venture that has taken several months to work itself out: filming content for another producer. Mature Gay DVDs.

You would think that I would be okay with filming for another producer since we've already had 6 releases within 12 months. Granted, they were for our own line but all the work that went into it included advertising for the models, meeting with them, recruiting, filming, editing, and packaging paperwork and Master DVDs to get everything out to our distributor, AMVC.

But I was nervous. Not only was I looking at things through someone else's eyes. I was looking for new things and had a slightly different set of directives in mind. I was also working with a brand new camera, a new location, a photographer, and with people watching.

Turns out the shoot wasn't so bad after all! David, the son, was really great. So was Lamar, the Dad. They both hit if off right away and had great chemistry between them. Problem is we didn't want them to cum too soon. I think this, more than anything, gave Lamar a very bad case of stage fright. Performing under pressure for a cum scene is not the easiest thing in the world. I know. I've been there.

After many tries – where the son did all sorts of things to help out Dad – the helpers were sent away. Two and a half hours later, still no cum. So, we had to reschedule. The footage itself looks great. So do the photos. Hopefully, the folks at Mature Gay DVDs will understand.

And I'm doing the best I can to push away a nagging doubt. What if they don't return?

        

I think I'm a fairly easy-going guy. Reasonably laid-back and, for the most part, down-to-earth. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. I believe everyone deserves respect from the start; until they shatter that trust. I've been called Rose Nylund because I can be naive. There are many things I don't know and I can be gullible. But you know? I'm finding that, at 47, some of that luster is… well… becoming a bit tarnished. The rose-colored glasses are turning a bit opaque. No. No quite jaded. At least, not yet. And I hope I never get there!

So here's the thing. We've had a really fun time in the past year and two months that Horndawgz has been in existence. For the most part, I really love meeting with models for a quickie interview (no personal casting, contrary to popular belief, though I've had a few offers!). I like the energy exchange. I like sizing each other up and getting a feel for that person; grooving on their vibe.

We've begun to recruit new talent, in earnest, as I'm shooting content for another producer as well as shooting for our own projects. As a result, I've come into more contact with all different sorts of guys, from younger to older. What I have them do is come meet with me for roughly half an hour. Think of it as an interview. In that time, they fill out a questionnaire that details their sexual preferences and we take some sample test shots so we know what the model looks like when we look through our book.

For the most part, it's been an enjoyable experience. But lately? I've come across a few that have left me annoyed, aggravated and, frankly, stupefied.

And then it hit me. There's obviously a HUGE misconception out there that is leaving people with the wrong impression of what making porn is actually like and what they can expect.

First and foremost, to some, it's a fantasy. I know this. It's certainly been for me. Up until very recently, when I got in front of the camera – both for the experience and the much needed money! – my perception changed. For me, it was the fulfillment of a fantasy but it was also something that became a high. I enjoyed getting paid for having sex. I enjoyed taking my clothes off, touching another body, finding out what makes them tick.

I quickly discovered that I wouldn't be able to quit my day job and make a living at making porn. I wasn't going to get rich by taking my clothes off. And there's a certain shelf life. Not age-wise, since there are movies being filmed with Dads and Grandads. It's more of a personal choice to hang it up and known when to pull out; if you'll pardon the pun.

So… to the boys that comically and, indignantly I might add, declare that they cannot and will not go before the camera for less than $1,000; dream on. Nice work if you can get it. And if you get it, make sure you tell me how because I sure as hell want in on THAT gig! Do you really mean to tell me that you'd rather give it away for free? Oh, and if you tell me that "such-and-such studio" offered you much more, or paid you more, be forewarned. I will reply… nicely… with "Well, perhaps you should take them up on that offer or go back to them."

To the men who say, "I'm very picky and selective," yet don't bother to fill out what they like to do when they have sex on camera, be warned. My reply will be – again, nicely – "Thank you very much for stopping by but we're not a dating agency or an escort service."

For those that call ten minutes before they're scheduled to be here and can't make it because they overslept, thank you for being truthful. Yes, I will reschedule you but I will tell you point blank – again, nicely! – "Please make sure to set your alarm clock."

And for anyone who does not even bother to be courteous enough to take my card and put it in their wallet – you can throw it out when you leave – you're sending me a very big message. If you weren't interested, why did you just waste my time and yours?

To recap, here's a few short, quick, hard truths. I don't want to sound jaded and I sure don't want to turn off anyone interested in getting in front of the camera for me and fucking their brains out. But:

You won't get rich by doing porn.
Not everyone is Matthew Rush or Leo Giamani, lucky enough to have exclusive contracts.
Not every studio is Falcon or Lucas Entertainment so, no, we can't all pay what you probably should be paid.
The rules have changed and we all have to change along with them.

But you will:
Make some extra cash! Even if you only get $250 for 2 hours worth of work, you're still ahead of the game!
Have a hell of a lot of fun!
Meet new people!
Gain experience that you can then take to the bigger studios who will be able to pay you more!

        

I'm very pleased to announce that "A Stroke At Midnight: Volume 2" is now available! To purchase a copy of "A Stroke At Midnight: Volume 2", in print or as an e-book, click here. You can also purchase Volume 1 of "A Stroke At Midnight" as a print-on-demand paperback or e-book. And remember, if you buy either of the books, be sure to drop me a line and let me know what you think of the book!

In addition, Part 3 of Uncle Piri was just released in the latest issue of Handjobs magazine. I am diligently working on a final draft of the book, which is an expanded version of little Johnny's sexual adventures with his "Uncle" Piri, as they make their way through Coney Island. Be sure to look for further details over the next month or so. We're still planning for a release sometime in March, 2010.

I'm also quite happy to report that "Casa Rodrigo" my first gay, erotic romance novel was recently accepted for e-publication by Loose Id! Contracts have been signed, mailed and received by the publisher. The fun will truly begin when I get down to the nitty-gritty with the editor. Assuming all goes well, the e-book should be released sometime late Spring, early Summer. Can't wait!

And last, but not least, as mentioned in the previous post, film editing on our other two projects for Horndawgz continues. Be sure to stay tuned for further developments on "Piss Master & His Boy" and "Dawgz At Play: Rocky and Dakota"!

As always, thank you for reading.

        

Belated Happy Holidays to everyone!
Our latest Horndawgz release, "Dawgz At Play: Mathew and Rocky" is now available through AMVC. If you would like to purchase the DVD, please click here. The movie is also available through AEBN. If you would like to view it through our Horndawgz Theatre, please click here.

        

Just a quick note to let everyone know that our latest release, Dawgz At Play: Mathew & Rocky was issued this past Friday, December 4,  and is now available for DVD purchase through AMVC. This was a hot session you won't want to miss between two cute, hot and sexy guys. The DVD is available at an introductory price of $14.95.

        

This is my first week at recruiting. Thus far, I've had a fun time meeting new people and taking test shots. More possible recruits to come next week. Hopefully, some of the people I've sent to the producer will be paired up soon.

On a different note, Johnny Miles is back with a fresh, new story called "Uncle Piri," published in the December 2009 issue of Handjobs Magazine! It's available in print but they also have the magazine available in .pdf format. For those of you who don't know the magazine, it's for those of us with Daddy/Son fantasies. If you check it out, be sure to let me know what you think!