Okay. So … those that know me know that I don't make a habit of bad-mouthing people. And truthfully, I'm not about to. Someone else has done it before me. Besides, it's too good to be true! Sadly.

It seems that a 29-year-old Sheriff's deputy here in Fort Lauderdale has been arrested on 14 counts of sexual battery. He's openly gay. Now, most of us have had our fantasies about being pulled over by the hot cop who never takes his clothes off or his shades; just unzips, whips it out and demands you service him. Or worse (better?) yet … fucks you over the hood of your own car, or his police vehicle. Somewhere that's semi-private so you're still outside. Maybe behind a billboard by the highway?

This particular deputy actually did the opposite. He would apparently stop his victims, illegal immigrants mostly, prop them up against their cars and frisk them. Then he would demand that they let him suck THEM off. Of course, the regular papers weren't that explicit. Nor was the news. When I first heard about it, I thought, "That's kinda hot!" I'm not sure what's sicker. The fact that a gay guy did this; which will only add fuel to the anti-gays constant attempt at stripping us of any civil rights, or the fact that I actually was getting off on it. I mean, it sounds like a porno movie! I want more, people! Details! Details!

Leave it The South Florida Blade, our local rag, to impart some of the details I'm looking for. According to one immigrant, he was pulled over at his very own apartment complex (probably while waiting to get picked up by another worker) pushed up against the patrol car and patted down. The deputy's hand supposedly then found it's way in the immigrants pants where he was then told by the cop, "You have a big one." The immigrant was then told he was going to suck him off in the cop car. In the cop car no less! Can it get any more porno-ish?

But as if there were not enough cock around town to be had, this cop supposedly did this several times, to several men ranging from 17 to 30. He supposedly demanded their numbers so he could text or call them to hook up later. Talk about your booty call! Exactly how many times did this guy suck them off? Did the immigrants get hard? Did they cum? Did they enjoy it? I don't know a single guy who doesn't enjoy getting sucked off, forced or not. Straight or not.

One of the "victims" said the cop told him, in Spanish, that he "wanted his milk" along with other sexually suggestive phrases.

Again, I want more details! I film and write porn! Can't they give me more? I wonder if I can get a copy of the police report or the victim's statements. And can I see pictures of the victims? Preferably stripped down naked?

If this is all true, the cop will, unfortunately, wind up behind bars and will probably be sucking as much cock as he wants in prison. Some of which might even belong to men he may have helped put away. But I'm thinking he's probably going to be using much more than his mouth to service these men.

Sad, but true. Hot! But Sad. I guess this is like the saying, "Life imitates art, art imitates life." Except this is going to be a case of life imitates porn, inmates in life. Yeah. All pun intended.

For the full story, printed in the South Florida Blade, click here.